Ignazio Tidu| My Life in the Sea Org - Physical Abuse on the Freewinds | | Print | |
| Saturday, 05 December 2009 12:23 | |||||||
Page 5 of 5 PHYSICAL ABUSE ON THE FREEWINDS A female staff member was ordered 48 uninterrupted hours in the engine room doing heavy and dirty work. I knew already it was hard to stay there about 18 hours a day, it was a mere cruelty to force someone, female in that occasion to work for that long without being allowed to rest or sleep. When I returned next morning to the space, she was still there and told me she fainted out of tiredness and she was lucky that when she fell didn’t get hurt or worse. That was the only reason she was later allowed to stop that torture. For the people who have no reality as to why we all seem so foolish or easy to manipulate, you should know that when you believe in something, you defend it with your life and don’t give up very easily. I believed very much in wanting to help Hubbard create a better world and if I had done wrong I should remedy to it, the best I possibly can. I still believed I should make things go right no matter what, yet I felt something was awfully wrong about the ongoing saga. I went from being one of the most respected and producing auditors to being considered the worst and worthless staff member on board. Yet on my records I could easily count a very high percentage of winning preclears as opposed to very few who didn’t do well with me as their auditor. Next news I was told were that the powers that be were now planning to trade me with any other advanced organization that’d be willing to exchange one of their staff for me. I was very unhappy indeed, but I was willing to start all over again elsewhere. Meanwhile I’d alerted my daughter about it and my being in serious trouble, she was worried about me and I tried to reassure her. However she obviously told her mom and some other people was getting to know it at the Clearwater base. I got told off and an out security report for having talked to my daughter. The matter had to be kept secret. I thought it was a bit too much if I can’t even talk to my own relatives, yet it was that crazy. Your communication is censored there is no free speech, that’s a fact! I was now getting started on a tailored security check to find my crimes. That was at least a good reason for me to get some rest as otherwise couldn’t be processed. I had no clue as to what my crimes were, but was willing to give it a try. I began to run into things that didn’t make any sense, the E-meter would allegedly react on things I had not done, which made me feel even worse than I already felt. My auditor was making mistakes in session and he was in turn being disciplined for it, a real mad house. I ended up owning up things I had not done, just to be done with it as soon as possible. That seemed to satisfy who was mostly interested in my crimes. However that wasn’t enough! The RTC rep used the data from the session to make me wrong, guilty and to just compound the whole madness. For these who know how to audit, can you imagine someone telling to your pc after your session, that he got a read on a question and the auditor allowed you to bail out from it? I know no LRH reference anywhere that would warrant that yet she did! In an earlier occasion, she had read my own write up where I confessed my own sins (according to scientology writings) and then she proceeded with making me wrong for what I’d written in an effort to come clean. How is that possible? RTC: AUDITOR INVALIDATION She was the person in charge of standard application of scientology, yet she was committing such abuse. I know it’s hard to believe, but I can swear it’s true. She ended up taking over the auditing of the VIP as she didn’t trust anybody else could pull it off. Mind you, there were 5 trained class IX, we were all Flag trained, yet she stated to me she had nobody else to audit the culprit and it was my entire fault. Now for people who know the subject a bit, it’s not difficult to figure out what that meant. An RTC rep is admitting that out of 5 class 9 auditors nobody is good enough to audit that special person! That sucks big time. The whole Flag training facility of FSO is pointed out by the above statement as being unable to make class 9 auditors or has been producing overt products (slang for bad product that nobody would want) I didn’t think it was the case, I got trained well as far as I was concerned. It just struck me that she would utter such nonsense. If that wasn’t enough, she also told me that she was much better than me at finding the crimes of the interested party and she could get better reactions even if the guy had only slept 5 hours!! I couldn’t believe my ears, as it meant an open admission from her part that she was violating the Auditor’s code: “I promise never to audit a preclear who has not had sufficient rest or who is physically tired”. Any auditor worth that name knows that down cold, yet she was bragging about her blatant violation of that very clause. Not to mention when I was deprived of sufficient sleep for weeks and then asked to write down my sins to come clean, without being provided a decent and quiet space in which to do so. I was sitting on the floor in the engine room, it was dirty and hot. I was so tired to a point of going unconscious, I couldn’t keep my eyes open and write down my most “hidden sins”. Was there any physical or mental abuse? I’ll leave that to the reader to figure it out. I was really getting fed up of being on board and I was now contemplating going to some other org as liberation from that ship I had at first loved to be part of. It became so unpleasant to be there I just wanted out. With that in mind I did all I could to complete whatever security check I was ordered to get I took on me things I had done as well as things I didn’t do as it’d sound so much better to the RTC rep. The worse my sins appeared to be the better it was for her. If that wasn’t enough, my auditor took care of the rest, reporting things differently than what I had actually stated, the effect was that it sounded so bad and the RTC rep couldn’t resist the temptation of telling me right after the session how suppressive I had been by allowing somebody unqualified onto OTVIII. I’m not kidding! Do you really believe I could do that even if I was that crazy? Obviously not! It takes at least 3 different persons to give the final okay and then an RTC rep is the final judge. So was I the only suppressive? Was it the whole four of us or what? I’ll live this to you dear reader. I know it sounds so unbelievable if you thought all was sweetness and light inside that joint. I’m not making any part of this up, believe it or not. I was also accused of a major out security for the same reason above. Talking of out- security, for which RTC is responsible, I was informed years earlier by a colleague OT 8 that unfortunately the advanced materials were all over the internet, yet I had no clue at that stage as to what internet was all about. I had lived so secluded from the real world that I had no idea really of what was going on besides scientology matters, and the news were always filtered. One couldn’t watch TV or movies unless you had a day off. The plan of trading and shipping me to another org wasn’t working out so the next news became that I was being talked into doing the RPF. At first I thought there is no way I’m going to do that, whatever I did wrong couldn’t compare to the amount of stellar production record I had. Then a friend of mine convinced me that it could be done in 6 months and because of my training it seemed feasible. By then I had already spent 4 months in the most miserable time of my life and all I wanted was to get off that space. My going to the RPF became my way out from that joint so I agreed to leave as soon as possible. The cheapest flight got booked from saint Kitts to the UK base in Sussex and to ensure I’d not escape a security guard had to come and escort me all the way. I could have given him real hard time and escape if I wanted to, but decided not to do so. He’d be dead meat if I had. After 24 hours of traveling we arrived to destination and my escort turned me over to another person who came to pick me up at the airport. Next day I was introduced to the other RPFers each of whom had been sent for alleged treasonous activities towards the church. I was determined to do my program and get the hell out of there as fast as possible. There was no written issue about why I arrived there and when I got asked I told what had happened, my reputation had sunk to such extent, it couldn’t get any lower than that. I was wrong again! SUE PRICE STRIKES AGAIN My dear friend CO CMO Sue Price got very busy and issued a golden rod issue with my RPF assignment which made look Jack the ripper a saint compared to what I was if what was written in the issue were true. Before I forget, I had investigated this lady to find out why she was so vicious when over one year earlier had torpedoed my sentimental life with another female sea org member. What I had discovered was not short of horrifying, I’ll spare you the details. Of course the plans with the Spanish girl couldn’t work out as she was being routed out. I was even interrogated as if we were planning to route out together. I wasn’t that stupid nor crazy. She had proven to be as reliable as a tower built on the quicksand, so I’d be better on my own. The RPF issue not only was full of false charges, it also illegally suspended my certs which meant I had to train from scratch as if I knew nothing. For those familiar with the subject, only a Comm-Ev duly convened can suspend an auditor’s certificates, this being written in LRH policy, but no she had to go beyond that. Mind you when you get a label as that of RPFer you are completely worthless and my efforts to get things rectified would just make things worse. So I got familiar with the space, the issues for the program and the schedule. I was rather concerned about ever being able to sleep enough as it’d be impossible to ever completing the program otherwise. I was supposed to make another person better and he/she in turn was supposed to do the same with me. It seemed so pointless, as I had done just that for about 20000 hours already. Most of my preclears can testify to that without any bribing action. So I get paired up and even more, in fact, instead of one partner, I was given two. I can audit anybody at any level, even today after almost 2 years without practice, I could do it with ease much better than many other auditors in any org, this is not arrogance or lack of respect for any of them, I know what I know and even if I’m not perfect, (I never thought I was), my training has been so extensive and the ability to handle preclears is part of my DNA regardless of my certs being valid or not. Doing the training line up from scratch was horrible as it can be compared to learning to drive a tricycle when you are a formula 1 pilot. Shortly after I arrived, based on some very scathing report written on one of my partners all the trio got punished onto a status even worse than the one of being an RPFer. The restrictions were extreme, you are not allowed to talk to other staff members, but also to your fellow RPFers. Your communication is shut for good, unless you want more troubles by failing to abide to the rules. That turned out to be a wrong assignment, yet I had wasted a whole month in that madhouse making no progress as I had planned and forced to live in extremely bad conditions which included having to sleep in a poorly ventilated basement even if that was illegal per local regulations. In few occasions it was mentioned that if a random inspection of the place was done by the local authorities that could cause some bad repercussions. No kidding! Anyway, I must have been rather stupid to pursue doing the program, I can see it only now that I’m out of that area and the suppression that went on in it. I can now tell without hesitation, I’ve wasted almost 3 years of my life doing a program which didn’t do me any good. I recall when I first entered the auditing space, it was horrible to hear how these poor guys were auditing. Most of them had no previous training so they had to cope with the way they got trained within the RPF. A new person wouldn’t particularly notice anything wrong, but to a professional auditor it sounded really bad. Some of the persons on the program had already been there for years, the worst being eleven!! I couldn’t believe it. I had offered my help to get the area rolling, but according to my infamous RPF assignment, I couldn’t be allowed in the tech unit, so whoever was in charge thought better about it and kept the area as bad as it could get. I had to waste up to 3 more months to complete my training line up from scratch. Having to redo the advanced courses wasn’t made any easy for me and my partner on the program. We had no access to the materials during day time so we had to arrange to do it during the night. If you think we were well rested before going to do that, I can tell you that was not the case. We had some moments it became so hard to stay awake and had to stop inside the locked area to sleep a bit. Finally I was done with my training and I began auditing my partner. He had been there already since about one year and was really in a bad shape, mental and physical. Knowing my business, it didn’t take me very long to get him back to battery and in a much better shape. I decided to audit both of the partners I had been trioed with as for those who know me can attest to the fact that I love auditing others. Both of them seemed happy with it, so was I. The next IAS event was on the horizon so we get briefed as to our schedule being arranged in order to work at the massive preparation job for the whole thing. Normally we’d study or audit 5 hours daily, but during that time it became impossible. Mind you, the RPF Issues forbid the RPF being used for such public events and for our schedule to be modified in a way to prevent daily redemption time (they call it so in the RPF) from happening. It was illegal!! Yet nobody could protest about it because we were the scum of the sea organization with no rights worth a dime, besides the fact that it provided the whole organization with hundreds of labor hours at no cost at all. You’d not think that because of working long hours at very heavy duties, we’d be properly fed and allowed to rest. Oh no! Not in the RPF! At times the food was so bad in addition to being scarce, I just couldn’t eat it. I had to buy my own food out of personal money I had saved in many years. And the weekly pay if it’d arrive at all was $12.50 per week. By the time I’d change it into pounds, it was almost gone before I could do anything with it. The time went on and I was also starting my auditing part. I love auditing when it’s done for the person that gets it. That was not always the case as far as I was concerned. I was disgusted to be forced into steps completely unnecessary and invalidative. The senior c/s UK had already a preconceived idea, or perhaps he got influenced by the colorful comments made by the infamous Sue Price. She went as far as writing a message on a telex, which the RPF in charge read to me, stating that I had ruined the lives of my preclears with my own style of auditing. You’ve got to be kidding or you have some other agenda to make such a foolish statement. Out of the 500 new OT VIII completions made up to that point, about 200 had been my preclears and the great majority of them were doing great! I’ve never heard my preclears be unhappy about my service. Very, very few didn’t do well and I’m sorry if I couldn’t help them, other than that I was very proud of my past products and still am today. I’ve found again some of them after many years and by a random survey I did just out of mere curiosity, 100% were still happy about my auditing and they all remember me. It was quite a different picture than the one that CMO lady was trying to depict. I was made to do a whole rundown (Truth rundown) which was meant to handle something I had never done. My protests were not only ignored, but used to make me wrong and forced me to receive an action which was useless. It was a torture to get painstakingly through that. My partner told me there was no way out and it’d just get worse if I kept protesting. It was a perfect example of auditing someone suppressively. I was very relieved when it was over. As the time went on I had to help some other team and I could use some of my technical expertise. My original task was to make someone else better. Out of my own initiative, I’ve audited 24 persons at all levels within the UK RPF, 3 of them went Clear (end phenomena of dianetics auditing) and some could graduate because I made it possible by being there supervising upper level sessions where the auditor had no clue about what to do. I’ll spare some of the details of these last years, but I was proud to contribute in debugging any single bogged case I could find in the area, I’ve handled botched sessions and red tags (term for a session gone wrong where no floating needle arrives at the examiner) that nobody else could handle, I’ve saved the production from collapsing and got much better production than the one occurring before I did something about it. I even became the cook to solve the horrendous handicap of poor food improperly prepared and out of recalling of my relatives used to do, I was able to make much better meals than I had ever seen in that joint. When I was supervising the co-audit space I could handle any situation that presented itself, that made the auditing smoother. But all this had to come to an end, I thought it’d be good as both I and my partner completed the program and were waiting for the final ok. I had not been paid for the whole year 2007, but I didn’t care particularly if I’d get out and back producing somewhere. Unfortunately, something went wrong again. My partner received a report by some female cadets about him doing something not okay. He got interviewed and based on the outcome it was decided that he had to be offloaded. Being his partner I was really in deep shit at that point. He got routed out on few days. I recall a comment made by another RPFer who quoted a statement made by the RTC rep UK about my partner: “Get rid of him.” Mind you, the guy had been 27 years in the sea org and was a trained Class IX as well as a trained case supervisor of that same class. He was also married, and had to leave abandoning his wife who choose to stay on her post. They were not allowed to speak to each other for years. So following his departure I ended up getting another Comm-ev and thank god they offloaded me. I couldn’t take it anymore and I did not realize until then how I had allow such suppression to make my life miserable in the last 3 years of being in the sea org. It took me some time before I could reorient myself to the real world. I was feeling so much better being able to decide and do whatever I wanted. I didn’t have anybody else running my life but me, no restrictions of any kind. I felt some discomfort about talking to anyone about what really happened as it wasn’t all nice at all. I was going to live my life with this unspoken experience until I realized somebody else had been going through a similar if not worse experience in the same organization even if not same geographical base. I couldn’t believe what I was finding out; their stories were on the same exact pattern as mine. I finally understood why the RTC rep on the ship found it okay to punch me, she had learned the lesson from her boss and was doing the same thing. Even my partner had brought up a similar experience of his being beaten by another RTC rep at the UK base, not to mention other humiliating handlings that came up from other incidents that emerged. Having at this point come to the conclusion that I’ve nothing to hide about my life in the sea org, I wish other people to know what it’s been like. If anybody gets prompted by my story to join the sea organization, that’s fine with me, I’ve no objection to it at all. On the other hand if someone wanted to join the team and got scared by my story, well that’s too bad. I couldn’t make it nicer for recruitment purposes as it’d would have given a false picture. I’d rather tell what really happened and let the truth be known by anybody who is capable of judgement and can figure out how to go about in life helping others whenever possible. Probably this writing will be labeled as “forbidden” as soon as someone within the church finds out about it. That’s a very predictable thing. And if the current regime within the church deems it necessary to declare me a suppressive person because I’m telling my real story, well that’s too bad. I don’t fear such declare in any way shape or form. I’d for sure like to get an hard copy if it gets to that point, because if it’s not written it’s not true and I can promise you that if I get it mailed to me, I’ll put it all over the internet for anybody to read it. I can share my crimes with the rest of the world if it takes that much to fell free. I do love and respect Ron Hubbard and I’m very thankful to him for any improvement I’ve brought in myself and others through his very teachings. If the current church structure proves to be in alignment with his work, I’ll be more than happy to help, unless that proves true I’d rather support some other group who shares common desire to help with the real scientology. Three cheers to LRH. Written by Ignazio Tidu, 27 November 2009
|
"Scientology has been taken over by a self-appointed dictator, David Miscavige, who has turned the Creed of the Church of Scientology, the Code of a Scientologist, and the Credo of a True Group Member on their heads and instituted the virtual practice of Reverse (Black) Dianetics..." 
Comments
Thank you for sharing your story.
I will admit that I was hoping that this was not also happening on the ship (naive I know) and that Sharon and Mike would not stand for it. A very sad disappointment.
My heart aches for those I dearly love who are ship staff and have to fight against this inhumane treatment - even if only the potential of such treatment.
I can attest you were a good and caring auditor. You audited me at the FSO and it went very well.
It's funny that while I was on my way out of the church you did gave me a C/S 53 by indication in Milan (arc x session) and you indicated something that was actually happening to me: "Feel attacked". At the time I was under attack by the C. of S... Shortly thereafter I got declared...
I wish you well my friend and good luck on reuniting your family.
Best Paolo
I ended up saying things which I didn't even believe because I'd be asked what I'm thinking and I'd say whatever I imagined after the question. I wasn't thinking anything besides how messed up this is. The Sec checker had something in his ear and he'd not want to take a "read" up, but this guy in the other room would talk to him in his ear and he'd take it up with me.
There's got to be some out tech if the sec check leaves you spinned in.
04' at Flag.
sono Caspar appena letto la tua storia incredible, but on the other hand I have indeed read similar stories and my own has some similarity as well.
I would like to talk to you in person some time or other. I intend to take some action in the socalled Freezone to clean up the squirreling that is going on and possible unite the field.
There is another person whom I would like you to meet as well.
Let me know if you are interested and otherwise I wish you well.
m. love,
Caspar
Remember one thing, you are now free to AUDIT, big time, man!!! Ha ha!
Welcome Back, mate!!!
ML, Theo Sismanides
On your long journey as auditor, did you ever learn to audit in German ?
Hey Caspar,
any chances to deliver SHSBC and class VIII ?
just wondering.
Arc
anything the church delivers can be delivered in the Freezone except the blows :-)
Caspar
Thanks for your story, which is a great read.
I have recently read several long articles and full-length books about life in the Sea Org by former scientologists, including descriptions of life at Hemet, Clearwater, Saint Hill, and the Los Angeles Complex. Your account of life on the Freewinds is a valuable contribution to the picture puzzle of Scientology that is now emerging in all its nefarious glory. The more people know about all facets of this organization, the better. Your account of your experience is a real public service. Thanks.
thank you for sharing your story.
When I read it yesterday I forgot all my life around me and could see those things happen before my eyes.
Though not having been myself in the Sea Org, in the '70s and '80s I have been in the SO-quarters in the Nordland-Hotel in Copenhagen, as well as those in St. Hill in the UK and I have supervised a short time in the Flag Crew Course room in Clearwater.
Each of these experiences was a shock. But after I was through that initial shock I felt complete admiration for these staffmembers who had so much Affinity that such circumstances could not stop them to help their fellow beings.
Afterwards I was in awe, when I saw them acting on their posts. I have no other words for that.
Thank you for what you have done - while being on staff and after. And thanks again for sharing your adventures. It has raised my confront.
Love
Alice
I read every word of your detailed write up. I do not doubt one word. Your tenacity in applying standard tech, even when half starved and sleep deprived is more than admirable, it's miraculous...
Now you need to continue to apply your skills as a Cl XII auditor to clean up the C of S's overt products. Good luck, my friend. I will be coming out soon...
ML,
Songbird
Yours is a cruel yet familiar story. How ironic that the Organization established for "removing the ills of man" harbors a management whose highest leaders are committing those very ills--- and in numbers.
I admire both your courage and tenacity in your experience and subsequent release.
I experienced similar suppressive treatment while an SO crew at ASHO-D back in the earlier days. I routed out after months of jumping through the off-policy flaming hoops and other suppressive obstacles. They play a very low toned game and really didn't care about keeping me around as I challenged their phony authority with gusto. I would have pulled them upscale and they weren't having any of that.
What a shame that they pervert the way out for so many? We'll all make it, I know that. But what a colossal cost in needlessly suffering individuals.
Imagine for a moment a Religion created to save mankind and offer sanity.
But who will save us from the highjacking of this Religion? Anyone interested? I am.
Rob
Highest affinity, Anita Warren
RSS feed for comments to this post