Lucky me, I worked with a guy who was on HQS way back in 1973. I was already fascinated with people but I found him most interesting because he carried himself differently than anyone I knew. As we became friends, I told him things I had stopped telling others because they thought I was “a little off” for thinking such things. I told him I was interested in telepathy. Instead of laughing, he agreed with me but said he didn’t know how to do that yet. I told him I thought that we didn’t just live one life, the body died but we continued to live. Surprisingly, he didn’t laugh or run away. I said I wanted to help people and I wanted to know how the mind worked. He said I should become an auditor, then brought me into the Mission in Edmonton, Alberta (Canada). I was 17.

Lucky me again, the staff consisted of 2 Cl VIII’s, 2 Cl VI’s, 1 Cl IV and all of them were at least OT III. I happily paid my $25 for the Comm Course and started my adventure to become an auditor. I did every course the mission offered, ending with HSDC. My wish came true. I learned how the mind worked and I could help people. I was on cloud 9…this is what I wanted to be…an auditor. I audited and audited, hundreds of hours of Dianetics. It was wonderful. The wins and gains were absolutley mind blowing… literally…ha ha….

At the end of 1974, I flew to FCDC. I was going to be a Cl IV auditor! Having absolutely no reality on a Cl IV org, nor the USA and Americans, I didn’t know what I was in store for other than I was going to be amongst the big boys that LRH talked about in Keeping Scientology Working. I was up for it. I brought my own pc with me just in case they didn’t have one. I figured he could train up to Cl IV to keep himself busy while he waited for me to audit him.

The training was awesome…rough, tough and standard. I did my HSDC internship and was a certified, gold sealed Dianetics auditor…wow! I started my Academy Levels. TRs and metering every morning, then study and drill. The course rooms and HGC were full — FCDC was buzzing. It was exhilarating! I threw myself into study 7 days a week, 9am until midnight or more. I would audit any pc I was asked to, on any action. I audited the staff too. I became the flub catch auditor and the course sup’s little helper. I did my Cl IV internship and was now a gold sealed, certified Cl IV auditor. A dream come true!

I returned to Edmonton to audit in the HGC. I did lots of Life Repairs, Dianetics, repair lists, grades…everything I could audit. My pcs were flying and I was having the time of my life. In 1976, I was asked if I would train to be the Cram Off and Qual Sec for the Mission. I figured, I could help even more pcs at once by assisting other auditors and I could also help the Mission. Cool…. So I went to FCDC and trained as a Qual Sec. Ooohh…FEBC tapes, ESTO tapes…awesome! I returned to Edmonton, set up my Qual and went to work. I also continued to audit in the HGC.

In 1977, I went to FCDC and did my Senior Cl IV auditor training. I kept a rigorous training schedule and would be the first to arrive and last to leave the course room each day. I couldn’t get enough of the tech…oh man, it was incredible! Life is just getting better and better.

In 1978, the Edmonton mission became a Cl IV org. So I graduated into being an org staff member. Cool…. Life was good. Our newly formed org rocked! The course rooms were full, the HGC was alive and full, there were lots of staff and more coming on board…it was fun…it was the best!

I continued on until 1981 and then moved to Los Angeles, where I trained on the HRD and CCRD. I also attested to Clear. I concentrated on my OT levels over the next few years and finished OT IV in 1985. It was all completely fabulous and such a rocket ride!

Then things changed….

January 1986 came to be. I was at the Palladium event where this guy I’d never heard of stood up and announced that LRH was dead and basically, he was taking over. Enter David Miscavige. My heart sank. None of this was good news. Through the rest of the event, my mind raced on how I was going to get up the rest of the OT levels quickly. Over the next few months, I somehow paid for and did OT V and got onto Solo NOTS, finished that and then completed OT VIII in August 1988. I did it…wow…I made it! Thank you LRH!!

With the advent of Miscavige, I saw lawsuits spring up. Prices for services 10Xed what they were, making the Bridge virtually unattainable for the general populace of earth. Blanket C/Sing (i.e. insanity) was very quickly introduced where everyone going onto their OT levels were sec checked, whether they needed it or not… including in the non-interference zone. We were all guilty until proven innocent. This was all under the guise of protecting upper level materials from getting into the wrong hands. Miscavige had to be certain that no one else would raise a lawsuit against the church and reveal data to the masses. After all, a few slipped through the cracks. Who knows who might be next? It was absurd!

Public Scientologists were asked to drop their lives and help their church. Nothing wrong with a call to arms, if the intent is clean. But it wasn’t. The public were encouraged to taunt, sneer at and hate anyone opposing the church.

Miscavige’s blanket, worldwide C/Sing continued into the 1990’s. In 1991, Miscavige announced that no one had really finished NOTS, so everybody had to redo it. At the same time, he said that it was voluntary. However, if you wanted to get the gains that you’re obviously missing, you’d better get on it.

Miscavige introduced the Golden Age of Tech in the 90’s as well. The training that we all did prior to this was awesome! It didn’t need to be fixed. But Miscavige, being the antithesis of LRH, thought differently than LRH. Miscavige made a blanket statment to all auditors that we didn’t really understand what we’d been studying for all these years and weren’t we just stupid for thinking we did? Apparently, none of us were auditing correctly over these decades. Thusly, the blanket invalidation of all the pc’s that we audited — our pc’s truly didn’t get any wins from the tech that we misapplied. So now all auditors had to retrain and do it the correct way. I won’t go into the endless stream of out tech that exists in the orgs…I’ll only mention the out tech of 3 swings on the needle for the f/n and that will get everyone started….

The route to Clear became arduous. You damn near had to give up your first born. Another blanket C/S was put in place by Miscavige to invalidate the state of Clear and those that had attained it. Even OT’s were rechecked on their Clear status. It got worse…. Miscavige introduced yet another blanket C/S on Solo NOTS comps. Apparently no one did Solo NOTS correctly and no one really finished it. Miscavige even issued his own laughable “confidential issue” that directly contradicted 2 upper level LRH HCOB’s. Miscavige’s intent was to confuse, introvert and invalidate. So now anyone who comped OT VII and anyone currently on OT VII, were supposed to do it all over again.

The same thing happened with OT VIII. Miscavige claimed that no one did OT VIII correctly either, so it had to be redone. More lies being spilled from Miscavige’s face. His intent was to confuse, introvert and invalidate.

All of Miscavige’s cruel and evil inval took it’s toll on the public and staff too. Increasingly, I saw SO members, staff and public looking like the wind had been knocked out of their sails. It got to the point where my friends in the SO couldn’t even talk to me..or have lunch with me. It broke my heart to see it like this…. Unfortunately, the guys in the church bought the snake oil. They became what I call Stepford Scientologists. It may be mean but it’s also true.

A little about church events: Events are thrown at a huge expense, standing ovations for every person that walks out on stage every 3 minutes, more money has to be donated for all the various networks to keep the bridge to total freedom alive, loads of talk about the expansive promo that’s going to be released (and never is) and LRH is mentioned just often enough at key points to keep the audience interested. At some point in the late 80’s, the events became mandatory. That makes me laugh….

Miscavige’s message is always the same — there’s a hidden data line that only he knows about.

Miscavige has created a never ending mystery sandwich and holds a constant carrot in front of Scientologists.

Miscavige has invalidated every auditor, pc, Clear, pre OT and OT on this planet and introduced a hidden data line that only he is privy to. So here’s a public person (or staff) that has been pounded into the ground and made to feel worthless and now Miscavige says he has found some lost tech that’s going to save them from hell. He’s one sick individual….

Of course the truth of the matter is, there is no hidden data line. Period.

Being the little chatterbox that I am, I could go on and on. I hope no one minds that I didn’t get into my own personal war stories or show my battle scars. They’re not significant to my story. Besides, it’s more fun live and in person to talk about that stuff because you’d get all kinds of wild gestures and facial expressions. But seriously (or as serious as I can get) I really only wanted to give a “before and after” picture from my perspective.

I guess I should close this up by saying that I’ve been an Independent Scientologist for a very long time and maybe it will help some by knowing this. I think it will because I have to say, Marty — a man I have always had the deepest respect for — helped me immensely by publicly stating he was out of the church and the reasons for it. When I saw that first interview with him…I thought “are you kidding me? Marty Rathbun? Awesome!” I hope my little story will have a similar effect.

I am absolutely delighted to be amongst all of you wonderful self and pan determined beings. Thanks for letting me roam freely amongst you….

Kathy Braceland
Senior Cl IV
OT VIII
Los Angeles, California

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