First, thanks to everyone for your kind words and validation on Marty's blog. And thanks to Anderson Cooper, the Producer and executives of CNN who had to endure all the crap thrown at them by the Church of Miscavige since last July.

Early on in Scn-cult I was going to create the “CornCOB Awards” and tonight I think we should go ahead and institute the program. And the first winner is…

Hold on… it’s a five-way tie!

CornCOB Award #1 goes to Tommy “Goober” Davis who said tonight on national TV, “It’s not much of a stretch for them to all get together, corroborate their stories, and find some other people who left years ago… and come to the news media and attack…” and then he forgot to say, “…and fly to the moon on magic fairy wings made of Cheetos carefully sewn together by enchanted toads.”

Okay, Goober… Gomer…. what about the 245 articles now on Scientology-cult all of which corroborate effortlessly in the most minute detail? That level of detail goes WAY beyond several mere IDIOTS getting together, learning their script under threat of expulsion and lying on TV. People that do that, look and act like… they look like… look like… look like you and your four Robo Women we saw tonight on CNN. Their TRs were out, they were mis-emotional, they cut comm, their manners were horrific and their attitude was inhuman.

I think your statement cuts right to the heart of your own little project. Thank you for exposing yourself on national TV. And while you and the Stepford Ex-wives possibly believe your own grand statements, the other 6,245,607,933 inhabitants of earth are going with a different theory: countless eyewitness stories from dozens of people corroborate because… hum… maybe they’re factual?

CornCOB Award #2, 3, 4, and 5 go to the sex-starved divorcees bragging how they’ve slept with a man and so “know every inch of him.” I don’t know why a sequined Magenta didn’t join you along with Frank-N-Furter from the Church of Rocky Horror doing the Time Warp. Outraged but dutiful ex-wives? Or sex-starved maniacal Janets from another galaxy who can’t even dress themselves appropriately?

How is the world supposed to respond to that? This is the script you got from Dave who told you what to say? Here’s some feedback: Your private bedroom sojourns are not really fitting subject for nationwide television nor becoming of a lady.

Bottom line: when the shit was hitting the fan at Int (which for some of us was all the time) those of us on the front line were lucky to even see our spouses for weeks on end. Maybe you didn’t see anything because it’s DARK at 5 am FOUR DAYS LATER when they finally got home. You’d already been sleeping for hours, oblivious except for the juicy briefings you got from Dave at staff meeting. Three hours later you’re gone when your husband is buried in pain after not having slept for 40 + hours. By then, he's hurting so badly from sleep deprivation who cares about a fat lip they got a week ago, which if they mention it, it’s guaranteed to earn them MANY more public beatings.

But even that is a fairy tale, since the truth is if Pope Miscavige takes it upon himself to issue a beating, the victim isn't going to see the inside of his home for weeks or months. He is automatically and instantly declared a “security threat” and confined to the base by Dave’s own standing orders. Maybe that explains the Joker grin on Jenny's face, the eager lust of Cathy Rinder, the pomposity of Kathy Hawkins, and the coke-head/water moccasin charm of Anne Rathbun. Ugly, ladies. Ugly.

So your husbands slept in their office floors or in the filthy trailer infested with spiders and crawling ants.

Since you’re all so full of theories, here’s mine for you: Under the influence of your friend Dave you pathetic cretins forgot what the word “wife” meant and disowned your husbands in violation of every basic Scientology tenant because Dave told you to. You didn’t know what was going on because -- except for some physical familiarity which we don’t want to hear any more about ever again -- you never knew your husbands at all.

Dear Kathy, Jeff said you had a “heart of gold” and Anderson passed along the comment. What do you think the world was thinking when YOU cut off Anderson Cooper after he was gracious enough to have you on his show? How about “GNO!” That’s “gold no more.” (Maybe it was once gold, but now it’s just lead… and lead is toxic.)

The rest of you have hearts of mud… all except Anne (Marty’s ex). Her heart pumps sulfuric acid.

Anne, you have done the amazing thing by winning a second CornCOB Award. I don’t know how it’s even possible to tie with yourself in the same contest, but somehow you’ve done it. You also win the sixth award for grunting pig-like that you know Marty “better than anyone.” Oh yeah, dream on impostor, stewing in your noxious juices. You don’t know anyone.

A real woman stands by Marty now and nothing could tear her away because she is strong, kind, and she knows what it means to

Stand by your man,
And show the world you love him,
Keep giving all the love you can,

Stand by your man.

But that’s not all. Tonight in exchange for bragging about your sexual exploits, and every inch of your Freudian innuendos, you win not only your own CornCOB Award, but a lifetime supply of dick jokes courtesy of every comedian this side of the Red Curtain.

Every time you guys open your mouth, you set a new standard for Scientology: lowest ever.

Written by Thoughtful